Am I Too Sensitive or Am I Overreacting?
Understanding Your Emotions (Without Invalidating Yourself)
Written by Gio Arcuri, OT, MSc
Mental Health Occupational Therapist
Course Lecturer, McGill University
Fonder of Clinique Vivago
“Am I being too sensitive?”
“Why does this affect me so much?”
“Am I overreacting again?”
These questions don’t usually come from people who are dramatic or irrational. They come from people who feel deeply — and who have learned to doubt their emotional responses instead of understanding them.
If you’ve ever replayed a conversation in your head, apologized for feeling hurt, or wondered whether your emotional reactions mean something is “wrong” with you, this article is for you.
Understanding your emotions is not about becoming less sensitive.
It’s about becoming more grounded, informed, and self-trusting.
Why So Many People Ask “Am I Too Sensitive?”
This question rarely appears in isolation. It usually emerges in people who have learned — consciously or not — that their emotions are inconvenient, excessive, or unwelcome.
Research shows that emotional self-doubt often develops in environments where:
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emotions were minimized or dismissed (“you’re fine,” “it’s not that bad”)
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approval depended on being easy, calm, or low-maintenance
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conflict felt unsafe or destabilizing
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high performance or caregiving roles left little room for emotional expression
Over time, many people learn to monitor themselves instead of listening to themselves. Rather than asking what they feel, they ask whether they’re allowed to feel it.
From a psychological perspective, this pattern is associated with increased emotional suppression — a strategy linked to higher stress, emotional exhaustion, and reduced well-being over time (Gross & John, 2003).
What “Overreacting” Usually Means — and What It Doesn’t
“Overreacting” is a word that sounds objective, but it rarely is.
In most cases, what people label as overreacting is actually one of the following:
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Accumulation: emotions that were held in for too long finally surfacing
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Context collapse: a present situation activating unresolved past experiences
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Nervous system overload: reacting from exhaustion rather than intention
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Invalidation: responding strongly after repeated dismissal or misunderstanding
Neuroscience helps clarify this. When the nervous system is under chronic stress, the brain’s threat-detection systems (particularly the amygdala) become more reactive, while regulatory systems become less efficient (McEwen & Morrison, 2013).
This means the reaction may feel “bigger” — not because it’s inappropriate, but because the system is already taxed.
The intensity of an emotion is not a reliable measure of its legitimacy.
Emotions Are Information, Not Character Flaws
Emotions are often treated as obstacles to reason, but research consistently shows the opposite: emotions are adaptive signals that help humans navigate relationships, safety, motivation, and meaning (Damasio, 1994).
Emotions can indicate:
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unmet needs
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crossed boundaries
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threatened values
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loss or disappointment
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the need for rest, connection, or protection
Suppressing emotions does not eliminate them. It redirects them — often into the body (tension, fatigue, pain), behavior (avoidance, irritability), or cognition (rumination, self-criticism).
Learning to understand emotions means learning to interpret the signal, not attack the messenger.
Sensitivity vs Emotional Awareness
(They’re Not the Same)
Sensitivity is often misunderstood as fragility. In reality, sensitivity reflects responsiveness — to internal states, relational cues, and environmental changes.
Emotional awareness, on the other hand, is the ability to:
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notice emotions without immediately acting on them
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differentiate between feeling and behavior
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reflect rather than react
Research on emotional intelligence shows that higher emotional awareness is associated with better interpersonal functioning, stress management, and psychological resilience (Mayer, Salovey & Caruso, 2008).
Being emotionally aware doesn’t mean feeling less.
It means knowing what you’re feeling and why.
When Emotions Feel “Too Big”: What’s Actually Happening
When people say their emotions feel overwhelming, it’s rarely about one isolated event. More often, it reflects emotional load.
Common contributors include:
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chronic stress or burnout
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prolonged relational tension
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sensory overload
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lack of recovery time
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ongoing self-monitoring or people-pleasing
From an occupational and nervous-system perspective, humans need cycles of engagement and restoration. When restoration is insufficient, emotional regulation becomes harder — not because of weakness, but because of physiological limits.
This is why small triggers can provoke strong reactions when someone is depleted. The system is signaling capacity, not failure.
A Better Question Than “Am I Too Sensitive?”
Instead of asking whether your emotions are “too much,” consider asking:
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What is this emotion responding to?
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What happened before this reaction?
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What does this feeling need right now?
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What pattern might this belong to?
These questions shift the focus from judgment to understanding — a change shown to reduce emotional reactivity and increase regulation over time (Kashdan et al., 2015).
Learning to Understand Your Emotions (Instead of Arguing With Them)
Understanding emotions is a skill — not a personality trait.
Evidence-based approaches to emotional understanding include:
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emotional labeling (naming emotions reduces limbic activation)
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pattern recognition (noticing when and where emotions arise)
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separating emotion from action (feeling anger ≠ acting aggressively)
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contextualizing emotions within life demands and environments
These skills are central to therapies focused on emotional regulation, but they are also deeply aligned with occupational approaches that link emotions to daily functioning, roles, and environments.
When Emotional Self-Doubt Starts Affecting Daily Life
Emotional uncertainty becomes a problem when it begins to interfere with:
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decision-making
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relationships
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work performance
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rest and recovery
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sense of identity or self-trust
Common signs include:
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constant self-questioning
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minimizing needs to avoid conflict
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emotional exhaustion
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difficulty functioning despite insight
At this point, support is not about “fixing” emotions. It’s about learning how to live with them more effectively.
You Are Not “Too Much.” You Are Responding to Something.
People who worry they are too sensitive are often deeply perceptive, attuned, and conscientious. Their challenge is not feeling too much — it’s being taught to doubt what they feel.
Understanding your emotions doesn’t mean shrinking them.
It means giving them context, language, and direction.
And when emotions are understood, they tend to become less overwhelming — not because they disappear, but because they finally make sense.
Emotional sensitivity often points to unmet emotional needs — such as validation, safety, or connection. Understanding your emotional needs can help make sense of why certain situations affect you so strongly.
Learning to understand emotional sensitivity is not about changing who you are, but about developing the tools to navigate emotions more safely and effectively. For many people, this process is supported through guided reflection, emotional regulation strategies, and a better understanding of how emotions interact with daily life.
References
Damasio, A. R. (1994). Descartes’ Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain. Putnam.
Gross, J. J., & John, O. P. (2003). Individual differences in emotion regulation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85(2), 348–362.
Kashdan, T. B., et al. (2015). Psychological flexibility and emotional regulation. Clinical Psychology Review, 38, 1–12.
Mayer, J. D., Salovey, P., & Caruso, D. R. (2008). Emotional intelligence. Annual Review of Psychology, 59, 507–536.
McEwen, B. S., & Morrison, J. H. (2013). The brain on stress. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 14, 1–11.