How to Support a Friend in Crisis Without Burning Out

rebeccaconnors4
May 24
3 min read

When someone you care about is in crisis whether it’s a mental health struggle, a family emergency, or emotional burnout, your instinct is likely to jump in and help. It’s a beautiful act of love and loyalty. But too often, in our efforts to be there for others, we forget to be there for ourselves.

Supporting a friend through a difficult time doesn’t have to come at the cost of your own well-being. In fact, showing up effectively means recognizing and respecting your own limits too. Here’s how to support a friend in crisis without burning out.

1. Listen Without Trying to Fix Everything

You don't need to have all the answers. Sometimes the most healing thing you can offer is your presence and a non-judgmental ear. Resist the urge to jump into problem-solving mode. Phrases like:

“That sounds incredibly hard—thank you for trusting me.”
“I’m here for you. You’re not alone.”

...can be more comforting than trying to “fix” their pain.

2. Set Clear Boundaries

It’s okay to say, “I want to support you, but I need to take care of myself too.” Boundaries aren’t a betrayal, they’re a necessity. Consider:

Setting time limits for emotional conversations.
Choosing when and how you’re available (e.g., “I can talk after 6 PM”).
Saying no when your plate is full.

Being honest about your limits models healthy care and helps both of you avoid resentment or exhaustion.

3. Don’t Do It Alone

You’re not your friend’s only lifeline. Encourage them to reach out to professionals (therapists, crisis lines, support groups) and other people in their life. Offer to help them make those connections, but know it’s not your sole responsibility.

Supporting someone is a team effort and professionals are trained to hold weight that friends can’t.

4. Check In With Yourself Regularly

Supporting someone in crisis can bring up your own emotions like anxiety, helplessness, or even guilt. Make it a habit to check in with yourself:

Are you feeling emotionally depleted?
Are you avoiding your own needs?
Are you carrying responsibility that isn’t yours?

If you notice signs of burnout, take a pause. Journal. Talk to someone you trust. You deserve support too.

5. Offer What You Can, Not What You Can’t

Small, concrete acts of care can be more sustainable than trying to be someone’s emotional anchor 24/7. Think about:

Dropping off a meal.
Sending a kind message.
Offering to go for a walk together.

These manageable, thoughtful gestures show love without stretching yourself too thin.

6. Know When to Step Back

If being around your friend consistently drains your energy or impacts your mental health, it’s okay to step back temporarily or more permanently. You can still care from a distance. It’s not abandonment; it’s self-preservation.

Your role is not to rescue someone. It’s to walk beside them, in the capacity that you’re emotionally and physically able.

7. Remember: You’re Human Too

It’s normal to feel overwhelmed or unsure about how to help. You don’t need to be perfect to be supportive. Compassion with limits is more sustainable and more genuine than self-sacrifice.

In the end, showing up with care and boundaries is the kindest thing you can do for both your friend and yourself.